"Oi fucks, let's eat 'ere, it looks niiice"Get me the manager
"Oh dear, what seems to be the problem sir?"First of all I was greeted with a grimace
Service with a sneer
He don't want to be hereSecond of all I was seated by the window
And the draft was a serious inconvenienceThere was lipstick on my glass and it wasn't mine
We put our order in - I can't believe the time
This is a shambles, your cook is a heathen
Your carpet is ugly and your veg ain't in seasonMy impatience spread like gravy on a tablecloth
And your head looks like it was carved out of a nutRory C, well, tell 'em...
I was waiting in line for 10 whole minutes
This is unacceptable - you're pushing me to my limits!"Please don't raise your voice in here sir
This is a respected establishment
I'm sure we can sort this out quietly, no?"Oh really? Well that's a great vase you got there
It'd be a real shame if something happened to it...Slipshod, kick it
Cunt
Songwriters
REYNOLDS, ROUGHTON / BATTEN, CHRISTOPHER JOHN / CLEWLOW, LIAM RORY / ROLFE, ROBERTPublished by
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group