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Sorry to Myself

For hearing all my doubts so selectively

For continuing my numbing relentlessly

For helping you and myself, not even considering

For beating myself up and over functioningTo whom do I owe the biggest apology?

No ones been crueler than I've been to meFor letting you decide if I indeed was desirable

For myself love being so embarrassingly conditional

For denying myself to somehow make us compatible

For trying to fit a rectangle into a hallTo whom do I owe the biggest apology?

No ones been crueler than I've been to meI'm sorry to myself

My apologies begin here before everybody else

I'm sorry to myself

For treating me worse than I would anybody elseFor blaming myself for your unhappiness

And for my impatience when I was perfect where I was

Ignoring all the signs that I was not ready

And expecting myself to be where you wanted me to beTo whom do I owe the first apology?

No ones been crueler than I've been to meAnd Im sorry to myself

My apologies begin here before everybody else

Im sorry to myself

For treating me worse than I would anybody elseWell, I wonder which crime is the biggest

Forgetting you or forgetting myself

Had I heeded the wisdom of the latter

I would've naturally loved the formerFor ignoring you, my highest voices

For smiling when my strife was all too obvious

For being so disassociated from my body

And not letting go when it would've been the kindest thingTo whom do I owe the biggest apology?

No ones been crueler than I've been to meAnd Im sorry to myself

My apologies begin here before everybody else

Im sorry to myself

For treating me worse than I would anybody elseIm sorry to myself

My apologies begin here before everybody else

Im sorry to myself

For treating me worse than I would anybody else

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