Starfleet Signs My Check

I got my spaceman suit

And my gravity boots

I'm stuck walking the hull

With a pounding in my skull

Ain't nobody knows

Which way the solar wind blows

Better than a man

Bein' blown

And the alien lover that I knew so well

After an hour or two told me to

Go to hell

And now that it's through

I got better things to do

Like swab the holodeck

'Cause Starfleet signs my check

I got my phaser set

But I don't know how to use it yet

I gotta get gone

Transporter lock on

I almost lost my ass

On a hostile M-Class

And the Klingon I thought that I knew so well

After an hour or two told me to

Go to hell

And now that he's through

I'm stuck in sick bay with you

With a broken neck

'Cause Starfleet signs my check

This debriefing's gonna hurt

They'll strip me of my red shirt

I'll get a new one ripped soon

In the captain's red room

(Again)

And the captain I thought that I knew so well

After an hour or two told me to

Go to hell

And now that it's through

I'll keep doing what I do

On a five-year trek

'Cause Starfleet signs my check

They sign my fuckin' check

Did I mention my check?

No direct deposit yet

Lyrics Submitted by Ka-tcha