Let's goOne man at the window
One girl at the bar
Saw that look of recognition
When they know just who you are
I seen you on the tv
I seen you on that show
You make the people crazy
And then you let them goBefore the show we calm them
We sympathise, we care
And the hostile folk we keep apart
'til the red light says 'on air'
Did you see our leather lovers
All tied up to the chair
Did you catch those child molesters
No one else goes thereWhat a show, the barry williams show
What a show,
Dysfunctional excess
Is all it took for my success
The greater pain that they endure
The more you know the show will scored
It's showtimeGot the reputation of a surgeon
'cos they cannot feel the cut
It looks so very simple
But it really is an art
They call our studio 'the hospital'
Making money from the sick
We let people be themselves
There is no other trick'my lover stole my girlfriend'
'i keep beating up my ex'
'i want to kill my neighbour'
'my daughter's selling sex'
'my s/m lover hurt me'
'my girl became a man'
'i love my daughter's rapist
'my life's gone down the pan'What a show, the barry williams show
The barry williams show
Dysfunctional excess
Is all it took for my success
And when the punches start to fly
The ratings always read so high
It's showtime'that girl has got no scruples'
Not a wrinkle on her face
You would not believe the plot she conceived
So they'd let her take my place
Well, no man is an island
No man is a sea
But this display of emotion
Is all but drowning meWhat a show, oh what a show
On my show, the barry williams show
It's my show
What a show
Dysfunctional excess
Is all it took for my successThe best tv you've ever seen
Where people say the things that they really mean
I hear my name, I hear them roar
For the one more time I take the floor
Just one more barry williams show
We're gonna take you where you want to go
It's showtimeCome on down
Come on down