Now you're here so have no fear, I'm just your friendly guide
So come along 'cause you belong, you joined us when you died
From your birth until your final breath
I'm proud to say you finally entertained yourself to deathWelcome to the congregation
I hope we meet your expectation
A little tiny pinch of deviationWe understand what you had planned goes by another name
Where bluebirds sing and church bells ring, well isn't that a shame
Your application sadly was denied
But let's be clear, we love you here, you're on the other sideWelcome to the congregation
I hope we meet your expectation
We promise it won't stain your reputationAh, as you can see over here
The broken glass chamber
Are the boys from wall street
Let's hear it for the boysAnd here in the eternal mariachi room
For the defrocked priest and telemarketers
And the totally fiery pit of boiling death
The lawyers, pimps and mimesWelcome to the congregation
Welcome to the congregation
Welcome to the congregation
I hope we meet your expectationSo thanks for dropping by here
We're really gonna try here
But in the end you know you're gonna fry, fry, fry hereUmm, excuse me sir
Is there a bathroom here?