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The Footholds

This could've been a train wreck

A total disaster

The end of everything that to this point mattered

Nicks and scraped and fatal falls

Private breakdowns and tearful calls

Not so private now, but wasn't that the point?

To get this story out?

We knew this would hurt

But never knew how loudThis is manning up

This is standing ground

Because you can't move forward if the footholds give outDidn't mean to be such a let down

Didn't think I'd ever have to say,

I'm oh so sorry but I'm not sure I have

What it takes anymore.

Or any faith in me

I just know I'm more vulnerable

Than I ever thought I could beIt's probably the best that I could say

If I'm too old, weak or late

This all falls in your lap

And I don't know how to feel about that

What qualified me for this?

Taxing attempts at a positive influence

That I've distorted

That I'm still hoping to haveCan't look at this like a let down

Knowing the impact made

On myself

On anyone tied to me

Throw it away

The thought that things can be the same

Eyes ahead, with past outlines empty and tucked awayI stopped keeping track

Of everything that I'm not getting back

I've learned that lists like that

Only serve to counter act

The progress I could make

And steps that I could takeIt's not "getting back"

It's finally finding out

That you can't move forward if the footholds give out

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