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The Horrible Party

Take me away from this horrible party

And let me get home to Mother

Don't make me stay at this horrible party

And I'll never go to another

People are shedding their inhibitions and their clothes

Many are sprawled on divans painting each other's toes

Everyone seems to be stuffing something up his nose

A player piano is tinkling ["Anything Goes"] again and again

Deliver me from this horrible party

And I will give you some money

Why, why are we at this horrible party?

And I don't see what's so funny

Here in the darkness known hitherto only to moles

People are using the slang they picked up from the proles

Everyone's finding new uses for muffs and mink stoles

And ["Anything Goes"] goes again, have they no other rolls?

Some plastic surgeon's done horrible things to poor Jane

Making her terrifically popular, men are insane

["Anything Goes"] is the motto and endless refrain

My dear, it was heaven until they ran out of champagne

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