The Nineteen Year Old Stew Clayton
As I was a walking one night by the strand
I met a young lady all dressed up so grand
The feature of refinery and jewels set in gold
Said she was a maiden just nineteen years old.
Well her fingers were tapered, her neck like a swan
Her head tipped a little and her voice not too strong
In six weeks we were married, the wedding bells tolled
I married that maiden just nineteen years old.
After the wedding we retired to rest
I thought I would die when that female undressed
A trunk full of cotton she first did unload
I thought it darn funny for a nineteen year old.
Well, she unscrewed her left leg as far as the knee
Took off her fingers and I counted but three
And out on the carpet her glass eye did roll
This fair little maiden just nineteen years old.
She took off her eyebrows, I thought I would faint
Next from her mug, came a carload of paint
She took off her false wig, her bald head did show
She was closer to ninety, than nineteen years old.
She took out her false teeth, I jumped up in terror
Her chin and her nose fell right in together
Now I’m telling you she’s a sight to behold
This fair little maiden just nineteen years old.
Now all you young fellows when a-courtin’ you go
Make sure she is perfect from her head to her toe
To pay for your folly like me you’ll get sold
To a patched up old maid about ninety years old.