The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

We are the pirates we don't do anything

We just stay at home and lie around

And if you ask us to do anything

We'll just tell you, we don't do anything

Well I've never been to Greenland, and I've never been to Denver

And I've never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul

And I've never been to Moscow, and I've never been to Tampa

And I've never been to Boston in the fall

'Cause we are the pirates we don't do anything

We just stay at home and lie around

And if you ask us to do anything

We'll just tell you, we don't do anything

And I've never hoist the main sail, and I've never swabbed the poop deck

And I've never veered starboard 'cause I've never sailed at all

And I've never walked the gang plank, and I've never owned a parrot

And I've never been to Boston in the fall

'Cause we are the pirates we don't do anything

We just stay at home and lie around

And if you ask us to do anything

We'll just tell you, we don't do anything

Oh, I've never plucked a rooster and I am not too good at ping-pong

And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall

And I've never kissed a chipmunk, and I've never gotten head lice

And I have never been to Boston in the fall

Pirate captains log 2002 who'll be this band Relient K

And why they'll be so full of contradictions

We don't know what he did but we're down with Captain Kidd

We don't wake up before lunch but we all eat Captain Crunch

We don't smoke, we don't chew, we watch Captain Kangaroo

{Ladies and gentlemen let's give them a big hand}

We are the pirates who don't do anything

We just stay at home and lie around

And if you ask us to do anything

We'll just tell you, we don't do anything

We are the pirates who don't do anything

We just stay at home and lie around

And if you ask us to do anything

We'll just tell you, we don't do anything