The sexual life of the camel is stranger than anyone thinks
At the height of the mating season, he tries to bugger the Sphinx
But the Sphinx's posterior's sphincter is all clogged by the sands of the Nile
Which accounts for the hump on the camel and the Sphinx's inscrutable smile
In the process of syphillization, from the anthropoid ape down to man
It is generally held that the Navy has buggered whatever it can
But recent extensive researches by Darwin and Huxley and Hall
Conclusively prove that the hedgehog has never been buggered at all
We therefore believe our conclusion
Is incontrovertibly shown
That comparative safety on shipboard
Is enjoyed by the hedgehog alone
Why haven't they done it at Spithead
As they've done it at Harvard and Yale?
And also at Oxford and Cambridge
By shaving the spikes off it's tail
Lyrics Submitted by Commander Kakapo