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The Twelve Pains of Christmas

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Is finding a Christmas treeThe second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Angry husband:

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas treeThe third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Man getting over being drunk:

Hangovers

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas treeThe fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Exhausted man:

Sending Christmas cards

Hangovers

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas tree

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Five months of bills!

Sending Christmas cards

Hangovers

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas treeThe sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Nervous wife:

Facing my in-laws

Five months of bills!

Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!

Hangovers

Rigging up these lights!

And finding a Christmas tree

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Nervous wife's husband:

The Salvation Army

Facing my in-laws

Five months of bills!

Sending Christmas cards

Oh, geez!

I'm tryin' to rig up these lights!

And finding a Christmas treeThe eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:

Whining kid:

I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!

Charities,

And whataya mean "YOUR in-laws"?!?

Five months of bills!

Oh, making out these cards

Honey, get me a beer, huh?

What, we have no extension cords?!?

And finding a Christmas treeThe ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

A tired father:

Finding parking spaces

DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!

Donations!

Facing my in-laws

Five months of bills!

Writing out those Christmas cards

Hangovers!

Now why the hell are they blinking?!?!?

And finding a Christmas treeThe tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

A mother:

"Batteries Not Included"

No parking spaces

BUY ME SOMETHIN'!

Get a job, ya bum!

Oh, facing my in-laws!

Five months of bills!

Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards

Oh, geez, look at this!

One light goes out, they ALL go out!

And finding a Christmas treeThe eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

A male couch potato:

Stale TV specials

"Batteries Not Included"

No parking spaces

DAD, I GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!

Charities!

She's a witch... I hate her!

Five months of bills!

Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!

Oh, who's got the toilet paper, huh?

Get a flashlight... I blew a fuse!

And finding a Christmas treeThe twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Two men:

Singing Christmas carols

Stale TV specials

"Batteries Not Included"

No parking?!?

WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!

Charities!

Gotta make 'em dinner!

Five months of bills!

I'm not sendin' them this year, that's it!

Shut up, you!

FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!

And finding a Christmas tree

Song Discussions is protected by U.S. Patent 9401941. Other patents pending.

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