Went to a party
I danced all night
I drank sixteen beers
And I started up a fight
But now I'm jaded
You're out of luck
I'm rolling down the stairs
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
I'm too drunk, too drunk, too drunk to fuck
I like your stories
I like your gun
Shooting out cop tires
Sounds like loads and loads of fun
But in my room
Wish you were dead
You ball like the baby
In Eraserhead
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
It's all I need right now, too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
I'm sick, soft, gooey and cold, too drunk to fuck
I'm about to drop
My head's a mess
The only salvation is
I'll never see you again
You give me head
It makes it worse
Take out your fuckin' retainer
Put it in your purse
Too drunk to fuck
You're too drunk to fuck, too drunk to fuck
It's all I need right now, oh baby
I'm melting like an ice cream bar, oh baby
And now I got diarrhea, too drunk to fuck
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Ooh