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Uneasy Rider

I was takin' a trip out to LA

Toolin' along in my Chevrolet

Tokin' on a number and diggin' on the radioJes' as I cross the Mississippi line

I heard that highway start to whine

And I knew that left rear tire was about to goWell the spare was flat and I got uptight

'Cause there wasn't a fillin' station in sight

So I jes' limped down the shoulder on the rimI went as far as I could and when I stopped the car

It was right in front of this little bar

A kind of a redneck lookin' joint called the Dew Drop InnWell I stuffed my hair up under my hat

And told the bartender that I had a flat

And would he be kind enough to give me change for a oneThere was one thing I was sure proud to see

There wasn't a soul in the place 'cept for him an' me

And he just looked disgusted an' pointed toward the telephoneI called up the station down the road a ways

And he said he wasn't very busy t'day

And he could have somebody there in jest 'bout ten minutes or soHe said now you jes' stay right where yer at and I didn't bother

Tellin' the durn fool

I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to goI just ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar

When some guy walked in an' said who owns this car

With the peace sign the mag wheels and four on the floorWell he looked at me and I damn near died

And I decided that I'd jus wait outside

So I layed a dollar on the bar and headed for the doorJes' when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin

These five big dude come strollin' in

With this one old drunk chick and some fella with green teethAn' I was almost to the door when the biggest one

Said you tip your hat to this lady son

An' when I did all that hair fell out from underneathNow the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight

In Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday night

'Specially when there was three of them and only one of meWell they all started laughin' and I felt kinda sick

And I knew I'd better think of somethin' pretty quick

So I jes' reached out an' kicked ol' green-teeth right in the kneeHe let out a yell that'd curl your hair

But before he could move I grabbed me a chair

And said watch him folks 'cause he's a thouroughly dangerous manWell you may not know it but this man's a spy

He's an undercover agent for the FBI

And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux KlanHe was still bent over holdin' on to his knee

But everyone else was lookin' and listenin' to me

And I layed it on thicker and heavier as I wentI said would you beleive this man has gone as far

As tearin' Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars

And he voted for George McGoveren for presidentWell he's a friend of them long-haired hippie type pinko fags

I betcha he's even got a Commie flag

Tacked up on the wall inside of his garageHe's a snake in the grass I tell ya guys

He may look dumb but that's jus a disguise

He's a mastermind in the ways of espionageThey all started lookin' real suspicious at him

And he jumped up an' said jes' wait a minute Jim

You know he's lyin' I've been livin' here all of my lifeI'm a faithfull follower of Brother John Burch

And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church

And I ain't even got a garage you can call home and ask my wifeThen he started sayin' somethin' 'bout the way I was dressed

But I didn't wait around to hear the rest

I was too busy movin' and hopin' I didn't run outta luckAnd when I hit the ground I was makin' tracks

And they were jes' takin' my car down off the jacks

So I threw the man a twenty an' jumped in an' fired that mother upMario Andretti woulda sure been proud

Of the way I was movin' when I passed that crowd

Comin' out the door and headin' toward me in a trotAn' I guess I shoulda gone ahead an' run

But somehow I couldn't resist the fun

Of chasin' them jes' once around the parkin' lotWell they're headin' for their car but I hit the gas

And spun around and headed them off at the pass

Well I was slingin' gravel and puttin' a ton of dust in the airWell I had them all out there steppin' an' a fetchin'

Like their heads were on fire and their asses was catchin'

But I figured I oughta go ahead an split before the cops got thereWhen I hit the road I was really wheelin'

Had gravel flyin' and rubber squeelin'

An' I didn't slow down 'til I was almost to ArkansasI think I'm gonna re-route my trip

I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped

If I went to LA via Omaha!

Songwriters

DANIELS, CHARLES EDWARDPublished by

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