Nothing is as it seems
When milking cows in Milton Keynes
And should you butcher them
The morning brings them back again
Now ladies, gentlemen
Get up now, get the man a hand
Now ladies, gentlemen
Get up now, get the man a hand
Atop the crucifix
Metal boxes you make a fix
On Sundays they will hum
Within their selves like Franciscans
Now ladies, gentlemen
Get up now, get the man a hand
Now ladies, gentlemen
Get up now, get the man a hand
Gentlemen and ladies if you please
Give your warmest of welcomes, Tom Keating
Keynote speaker on the brochure
But we'll kick 'em in the balls just to be completely sure
The model's pursed lips
Packed in my tapioca hips
And should she lose her lunch
Her tits provide a salty punch
Now ladies, gentlemen
Get up now, get the man a hand
Now ladies, gentlemen
Gentlemen and ladies if you please
Give your warmest of welcomes, Tom Keating
Keynote speaker on the brochure
But we'll kick 'em in the balls just to be completely sure
Gentlemen and ladies if you please
Give your warmest of welcomes, Tom Keating
Keynote speaker on the brochure
But we'll kick 'em in the balls just to be completely sure
---
Lyrics submitted by Patrick Johnson.