Watching the Waiting

When I made my plan

There were some things for which I did not account

I could not have seen myself here

In a place I've been before

Seeing everything all over

As if I could really know

As if I am sure

And you say it's about time

But you know I'm not used to having enough

And there is nowhere I need to go

And there is nothing left to do

And I am sitting watching myself

Watching you

Watching the waiting

When I move to stand

My muscle memory is keeping me up

Real memory is also similarly cruel

To see his face in front of me

Out of the blue, for no reason at all

And I don't suppose

I'll be able to tell him how sorry I am

But like the guard settles in for another long night

I keep watch for a danger and I may not recognize

But I keep my eyes open

All I know is this

There are times when, to me

You seem to glow from within

And I wonder how this moment could possibly be

And how much was of my choosing

And what chose me

And I couldn't care less

When it all adds up

And I feel I am closest to what I really am

And there is nowhere I need to go

And there is nothing left to do

And I am sitting watching myself

Watching you

Watching the waiting

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