What The Hell Happened To Me?

I used to ride a big wheel.

And sell lemonade.

Eat popcorn with Grandpa while we watched a parade.

But now I'm only happy when I'm drinkin' J.D.

What the hell happened to me?

I used to have fun throwing snowballs.

With my best friend Billy.

Then Mom would make us cocoa if we got too chilly.

But now I only get excited when I see a girl pee.

What the hell happened to me?

I used to be the nicest kid in the neighborhood.

I only did the things that Mama said I should.

But now I just do whatever I want.

I even whipped it out in a restaurant.

I used to help clean the park in the middle of town.

Then played kickball ' til the sun went down.

But now all I do is get VD.

What the hell happened to me?

It makes no sense.

I can't believe I ended up me.

I'm outta my gourd.

Won't somebody please help me.

I'm kind of a wierdo.