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Will You Be Me?

i wonder if you've ever seen

the way the man in the lookout house looks at me

before he takes out his teeth and asks me to sign the wall

and i sign his wall with a heel of bread

dipped in green listerine

and then i kiss him on the head

and leave through the door in the floor

as he starts to fall down dead

i've got a pocket full of quarters and i'm headed for the woods

i'm gonna play miss pac man in a puddle of mud

i'm not gonna lose my shoes unless i start to cry

and the man in the moon said i'm not left handed

and he did a swan dive to the promise land

while you were lost in my bob hope diamond eyes

there's scary topiary to the left of the pool

the trail to the right goes back to middle school

i'm trying to read what the flashing red letters say

they say lowest common destiny and so i run away

'cause i can't make the grade when i'm on display

here comes the man with the laminated plan

for the vince mcmahon expressway

will you be me? will you be me?

wear my clothes, drink my coffee,

write my mommy, do my homework,

feed my babies, fight my crazies

will you be me? will you be me?

wear my clothes, drink my coffee,

write my mommy, do my homework,

feed my babies, fight my crazies

my cat came back life, turned into a skunk

kissed my dog and he got drunk

when i tried to pet her she turned into a beam of light

pam and susie were there i said i miss you

but they didn't hear me

the ground started bouncing so i jumped up trying

to feel like an angel flying

watch out for the power lines

unless you wanna die

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