Soldier and Devil
Sitting in a Tree
S-C-H-E-M-I-N-G
Devil got a pitchfork
Soldier got a gun
Home alone always means a lot of fun
Ready, steady jump
Land with the thump
Noise coming from the shed
Like bang, bang on a drum
Head for the shed,
Shit's getting weird
Soldier open door
Little arab kid with a beard
"shut up" says soldier,
"go sit in the corner.
That's it, no more blood and water"
Devil grabs the petrol,
Heads off to the kitchen
"fuck" says soldier,
"you better quit your bitchin'"
Little bearded arab boy is in the corner twitchin'
Plus a little arab girl in a black ninja robe
Soldier grabs a bit of rope,
Ties it round their necks
Then puts bags over their heads
And leads 'em out the shed
(HOOK)
Chinaman pointing
There's a hellcat floating
In my livingroom
Giving me the heebie-jeebies
Jet to the cupboard quick
Fetch me a broomstick
Hit 'em in the tummy-tum
Die scum
Why front?
(REPEAT HOOK)
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Little devil
Strapped with the bible
Lights some candles
And kicks a backwards recital (woo!)
Little forehead spinning,
Sniffing fumes
Pentagram flares up
In the livingroom
With a "woof"
Devil's heart going
"doof, doof doof"
Big black form appears with a poof
Devil gets a fright like
"holy guacamole"
Through the kitchen out the backdoor
To run and tell his homie
Things are still heating up at the back of the shed
Arab kids on their knees with their hands on their head
Devil having trouble speaking, taps soldier on the back
"Ah! jesus, don't do that, I'll have a heart attack!"
"There's a really big fucking hellcat floating in the living room!"
"What!?"
"Come with a broomstick quick, let's go!"
Make big noise.
Bounce.
Play rough.
Break stuff.
(HOOK)
(REPEAT HOOK)
"Oh, thank you"
"Don't mention it. You're afraid?"
"It's true. Why front?"
"Be yourself."
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Lyrics submitted by emilie ivy.