You Are What You Is

Frank zappa (guitar, synclavier)

Steve vai (guitar)

Ray white (guitar, vocals)

Tommy mars (keyboards)

Chuck wild (piano)

Arthur barrow (bass)

Scott thunes (bass)

Jay anderson (string bass)

Ed mann (percussion)

Chad wackerman (drums)

Ike willis (vocals)

Terry bozzio (vocals)

Dale bozzio (vocals)

Napoleon murphy brock (vocals)

Bob harris (vocals)

Johnny "guitar" watson (vocals)Ensemble: (displaying dummy #1)

Do you know what you are?Thing-fish:

Dat what I ast ya!Ensemble:

You are what you is you is what you amThing-fish:

And dat de trufe!Ensemble:

(a cow don't make ham...)Thing-fish:

I meant dat now!Ensemble:

You ain't what you're notThing-fish:

Not even hardly...Ensemble:

So see what you gotThing-fish:

And you got a lot o' lookin' t'do, junior!Ensemble:

You are what you isThing-fish:

Dat entirely too correct!Ensemble:

An' that's all it 'tis!Thing-fish:

Uh-huhhhh!Ensemble:

A foolish young manThing-fish:

Bring dat dummy ovuh heah 'n show it to 'em!Ensemble:

Stashed away in san quentim ate de mys'try potatoesThing-fish:

Told ya 'bout dem 'taters!Ensemble:

Evil prince was inventin' now he talk like de thing-fishThing-fish: (manipulating the dummy)

("hmmmm, saffiiiee!")Ensemble:

An' he look like a mammy!Thing-fish: (manipulating the dummy)

("see de mammy, now! see de mammy, now!")Ensemble:

His fav'rit co-log-numm...Thing-fish:

Smell like...Sister potato head bobby brown, sister ghenghis adonis osmosis, sister jasmine noxema tapioca:

Chitlins!Ensemble:

Is de one dey call 'sammy'!Thing-fish:

One-adam-twelve...see de mammy...Ensemble:

He finally layin'Thing-fish:

Armed 'n dangerous, reproach wit cautium!Ensemble:

De whole thang down, 'cept de nivea lotium!Thing-fish:

Rub it on good, now!Ensemble:

An de royal crown!Thing-fish:

Take good care o' dat "ash"!Ensemble:

Do you know what you are?Thing-fish:

You's a wimp...she's a shrew!Ensemble:

You are what you isThing-fish:

Got dat?Ensemble:

You is what you amThing-fish:

One-adam-twelve, see de mammy agin'!Ensemble:

(a cow don't make ham...)Thing-fish:

And it never will...Ensemble:

You ain't what you're not,Thing-fish:

Unless science do somethin' 'bout it!Ensemble:

So see what you got!Thing-fish:

I know dey woikin' on it...Ensemble:

You are what you is,Thing-fish:

Underneath virginia!Ensemble:

An' that's all it 'tis!Thing-fish:

Boog-boogmmm, dano..."mammy one"! they toss dummy #1 into the wings, an d introduce dummy #2 to harry & rhonda. their torture-chairs, (on a rolling platform), are wheeled to center

E. the action takes place all around them.Ensemble: (showing dummy #2)

A foolish young man

Of de negro persuasion

Devoted his life

To become a caucasian

He stopped eating pork

He stopped eating greens

He trade his dashikiSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon: (manipulating the dummy)

("uhuru!")Ensemble:

For some jordache jeans!He learned to play golf

An' he got a good score

Now he says to himself:

"i ain't no..."Thing-fish:

"nignint!"Ensemble:

No more...hey! hey! hey!"Thing-fish:

One-adam-twelve, see de "nignint" wit knife... proceed wif cautium...knife may be open...Ensemble:

Bwana ma-coo-bahHarry:

All right! let's go!Ensemble:

Mercedes bainnnzzzzz!Ensemble:

Who is who?Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon: (singing)

I don't know...Ensemble:

'n what is whatSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

Somethin' I just don't know...Ensemble:

'n why is thisSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

Tell me now...Ensemble:

AppropriotSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

That's a funny pronunciation, if'n ever I heard one!Ensemble:

If you don't likeSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

Where'd you get that word?Ensemble:

What you has gotSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

Appropriot? the word is not!Ensemble:

Drop it in the dirtSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

Drop it, yeah!Ensemble:

'n let it rotSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

I can smell it now!Ensemble:

Someone elseSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

Here de come, here de come!Ensemble:

Will surely comeSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

I told you he was comin'!Ensemble:

'n pick it upSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

That's right!Ensemble:

'cause he wants someSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

An' he wants it for free!Ensemble:

And when one daySister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

There will come a day!Ensemble:

You wonder whoSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

I wonder too!Ensemble:

You used to wasSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

Who I was, anyway!Ensemble:

'n what you doSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

I used to work at the post office!Ensemble:

You'll scratch your headSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

But I don't wanna un-do my doo!Ensemble:

'n look aroundSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

To see what's goin' on!Ensemble:

But what you lostSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

Can't seem to find it!Ensemble:

Will not be foundSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

A mercedes benz!Ensemble:

Do you know what you are?Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

I know!Ensemble:

You are what you isSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

I'm the kinda guy...Ensemble:

You is what you amSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

That ought to be drivin'Ensemble:

A cow don't make hamSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

A four-fifty slc...Ensemble:

You ain't what you're notSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

A big ol' red one!Ensemble:

So see what you gotSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

With some golf clubs stickin' out de trunk!Ensemble:

You are what you isSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

I'm gwine down to de links on saturday mornin'!Ensemble:

An' that's all it isSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

Gimme a five dollar bill!Ensemble:

You are what you isSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

And an overcoat too...Ensemble:

An' that's all it isSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

Where's my waitress, yeahhhh!Ensemble:

You are what you isSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

Robbie, take me to greek town!Ensemble:

An' that's all it isSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

I'm harder than yer husband; harder than yer husband!Ensemble:

You are what you isSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

I'm goin' down to white street, to the mudd club, y'all!Ensemble:

An' that's all it isSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

I'm goin' down 'n work the wall! 'n work the floorEnsemble:

You are what you isSister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:

'n work the pipe, 'n work the wall some more!Ensemble:

An' that's all it is