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Be a Schmuck

I once knew a man and his name was Chuck.

He was trying to make a buck.

He went to the casino, but he ran out of luck.

He was just a big fat schmuck.

I zipped my zipper but my zipper got stuck,

So I decided to give it a huck.

I went to my congressman and he said, "Yuck.

You are just a big fat schmuck."

Be a schmuck. Be a schmuck.

We're all trying to be a schmuck.

Everybody dreams about being a schmuck.

We all strive to be a schmuck.

Everybody wants to be a schmuck.

Lyrics Submitted by Karl Kowalski

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