Defending P.i. Lyrics

A long, long time ago, when I made a living
Working for insurance companies
Well, I knew how to bill a file
And I took every case to trial
And I collected all those hourly fees
With tort reform it changed forever
For plaintiffs and defense together
Dockets all were clearing...
The lawsuits disappearing
I still remember how I tried
To understand the reasons why
Adjusters laughed out with delight
The day the lawsuits died
So bye, bye to defending P.I.
Drove the plaintiffs out of business
But defense work went dry
And good ol' firms were left

a'wonderin' why, sayin'
"This is not what we hand in mind"
In the good years we could bill our time
And not think about the bottom line
But that's not how it is today
Now insurers limit discovery
And demand a cap on legal fees that
there're quick to cut and slow to pay
And as I watched them celebrate
I realized it was too late
Bad faith and worker’s comp
Were slowly dying off
And as the tort reformers legislate
The lawsuits they eliminate
I was my law practice dissipate
The day the lawsuits died
And I was sayin'
So bye, bye to defending P.I.
Drove the plaintiffs out of business
But defense work went dry
And good ol' firms were left
a'wonderin' why, sayin'
"This is not what we hand in mind"
I quit my job to mediate
But I couldn't charge a decent rate
Insurers all refused to pay
I went up to the courthouse door
Where I tried those cases years before
But the judge there said they'd
settled every case
The plaintiffs took what they could get
Insurers knew that there was no risk
They saved the cost of trial
By using in-house counsel
And the two that I defended most
"Good Neighbors" and those "Good Hands Folks"
They Raised their glasses in a toast
The day the lawsuits died
And they were sayin'
Bye, bye to defending P.I.
Drove the lawyers out of business
and the claims have run dry
Insurance dollars stay with our bottom line
They said, "This is just what we had in mind"
Lyrics Submitted by Gregory Acedo