A mason jar full of shine, a CD of Leann Rhimes
Is what I bought for our anniversary tonight
Now here I stand with my petunias in hand
And you've got a headache againI hit a yard sale, cut my toenails
Trimmed my nose hairs just right
I thought you'd be impressed by my new hunting vest
But there's no chance tonightIt ain't the first time this year, it'll be the TV and beer
I about forgot what's its like to be here
As I sleep on the floor while she sniffles and snores
Did I shave my back for this?Oh man, aww woo
This things duller than a dag burn butter knifeNow I'll bet she'll regret the fact that she didn't let
Me take her to that motel with a pool
You know its so hard to find free HBO and Showtime
And them vibrating beds sure are coolI souped up the RV, fired up my flobee
Trimmed my toupee just right
I tried self tanning cream, it turned my skin green
Uh, you know the directions, uh, said that it mightWell its a mystery to me, why she don't like Cledus T.
Most find me hard to resist, I'm wearing my brand new drawers
And wondering what the heck for did I shave my back for this?
Deanna, did I shave my back for this? Ohh ohh ohh