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Donuts - Jim Gaffigan



     
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Donuts Lyrics


The Police, they love donuts right?
" Hey cop why don't cha get a donut
cops love donuts!."
Which is a interesting stereotype
cause you know who else likes donuts? Absolutely everyone, Of course cops love donuts
cause they know the difference between right and wrong!
and not liking donuts is wrong!
Have you ever met someone who doesn't like a donut, you wanna know why
because they're in jail
When you in a donut shop and you see a police officer don't you feel like something
special happened
*Gasp* an angel just got it's wings, it's special
i had a donut before i came onstage
I was with a friend last week i was like
"you want to get a donut? He's like "Im not hungry."
I'm like " What does that have to do with it
As if there's good reason to eat a donut
" Well, Doctor said i need more powder sugar in my diet"

Donuts are bad for you and according to my health nut wife
their not appropriate for a trail mix
I'm just on a different trail right
mine leads to the emergency room
That joke will be even funnier when i die from cardiac arrest
That's why i didn't laugh
Donuts are all about taste
in los Angeles there is a place called Yum Yum Donuts
Like what do you need?
the IQ of one to find that appealing.
Yum Yum, me like Yum Yum
like who's the target audience, Cavemen?
I know two thing yellow fireball rise in sky and Yum Yum
Yum Yum donuts
Yum Yum.
Now there's gourmet donuts that are deep fried and gold.
I had a gourmet donut, i didn't realise it was a gourmet donut
i just pointed at a donut and the donut guy started ringing it up
He's like " That will be 3.99."
I was like i only want one of them
He's like " That is the price for one of them."
Then there was this long awkward pause where i waited for him to lean forward and
say
"Just Kidding." But he didn't
He just looked at me like " Got ya Tubby."
Cause he knew i'd pay
cause i was in a donut shop
It's not like i was there to buy a yoga mat
Boston
this is like donut ground zero right? bumholes
Song Discussions is protected by U.S. Patent 9401941. Other patents pending.

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Jim Gaffigan (born July 7, 1966 in Chesterton, Indiana) is an American stand-up comic. His comedy routines often include him doing the voice of a supposed audience member commenting on his performance. He is also known for making fun of Hot Pockets, usually likening them to "a Pop-Tart filled with nasty meat." He often begins his routines with, "Don't worry, I've never heard of me either." Gaffigan first began performing stand up comedy on January 27, 1991 in New York City.

Read more about Jim Gaffigan on Last.fm.


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Jim Gaffigan