If Only Lyrics

All I seem to do is sit here thinking of you
When pleasure and pain become one and the same
It leaves me dazed and confused
I have a lock of your hair, snarled up in a curled elastic band
Not given in love but pulled out from your head
The last night you spent in my bed
If only you knew, just how much you've been torturing me
If only you knew, well if only I could stop thinking
If only you knew
Hassles in life, they will come and go
But the hardest thing I have found
Is trying to live with myself
I can't get to sleep, I infrequently eat
And I'm smoking my way back to yellow stained teeth

Mention cancer to me and I'll inwardly freeze and vow never again
I want to relive the passions of those days
Skin cells under fingernails and sheets in disarray
And that feeling of calm as I lay in your arms and I'd whisper into your ear
If only you knew, just how much you've been torturing me
If only you knew, well if only I could stop thinking
If only you knew
What they have said, I don't give a damn
They see the world different from me
And you know they always have
Well, if only you knew, just how much you've been torturing me
If only you knew, well if only I could stop thinking
If only I could stop thinking, if only I could stop thinking
If only you knew
That I'm missing you
If only you knew
If only you knew
Lyrics Submitted by Commander Kakapo