Ironic Lyrics

My dog's stomach was very upset, so we put him in the car and we went to the vet
And on our way to the vet, we killed a cat
I say, isn't that ironic?
I adopted a child from overseas, to rescue him from child labor factories
And on his very first birthday, we went to Build-A-Bear workshop
Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I
Yes and a waterpark is burned to the ground, and a tow truck is broken down
I always used to cry when I laughed then I was raped by a clown
I was watching Al Gore on CNN, and he was talking about the environment and then out of boredom my pet polar bear shot himself
Dated an animal rights activist, one day she got really pissed becuase I was eating veal that was wrapped in pita (PETA) bread
I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I
Yeah, I said, I'm a stand-up comic and I always sit and slouch
And I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile, uncle's pull out couch
I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I, Ironic
Yeah, everyday you play the board game RISK but you've probably never taken a risk in your life
And Monopoly has far from a stranglehold on the board-game market
And a little kid died from suffocation when he choked on a game piece from operation

And I can't grow a beard, that wasn't ironic, that one's just sad
Bob Barker got all of my pets pregnant
My grandfather has Alzheimer's and one day we were-