Keep Huggin' that Tree (Cuz I Got a Chainsaw) Lyrics

You love the grizzly bears
and the redwood trees
You wanna save the whales
and the honeybees
You like to pet the chickens
and kiss their beaks
Well I've had about enough
of you damn hippie freaks
So keep huggin' that tree
cuz I got a chainsaw
You want to cuddle the cows
and snuggle the pigs
You lay around munching
on berries and twigs
You won't eat bacon
unless it's made from tofu

there's something really really
fuckin' wrong with you
Keep huggin' that tree
cuz I got a chainsaw
You want seaweed salad
and lentil soup
why don't you take a fuckin' shower
cuz you smell like poop
I'd like to run you off the road
in your electric car
because thanks to you
I can't smoke in a bar
Keep huggin' that tree
cuz I got a chainsaw
Why don't you move to the forest
and live off bark
the stars are awful purty
when it gets real dark
you'll feel at peace among nature's grace
you can tell the wolves you love
them while they chew off your face
And keep huggin' that tree
cuz I got a chainsaw
Now don't get me wrong
I think nature's great
I've had every kind of varmint
on my dinner plate
Why don't you come on over
and dine with me?
I'm gonna barbecue a panda
and it's gluten free
Keep huggin' that tree
cuz I got a chainsaw
Yeah keep hugging that tree
cuz I got a chainsaw