Kill Corporate Media (Kill Corporate Heads) - Decaying Uterus

We used to be a joke. Now we're a real band. Sort of.

If you're one of those plebs who likes music, listen to Free Candy. If you're like us and think music is pretty gay, listen to our trü shit from before we sold out. Fuck you, we needed beer money.
For the trüüest of the trüüü rüütz tracks that had sound quality so brüütuhl last.fm couldn't even handle it, visit www.myspace.com/decayinguterus. We don't even remember the password for that shit.

It all started when Cowfang was spawned from IT through asexual cell division. Back in '06 he met Nekrofiliak and Dethkrush while playing in the gospel grindcore band Jesus and Pals. The three of them decided to form a new project that would be even better and named it Decaying Uterus, because Dying Fetus is fucking gay. They recorded a handful of trü rütz tracks telling tales of Poor Petey the poor penis, Zoofilia, raping the virgin Mary, and of course, the tale of IT. Diarrhea-Laden Skull Scalper provided backing vocals on the ballad of IT, Maria, which was recorded on a cassette tape with sound quality ALMOST as brütal as Mayhem's Pure Fucking Armageddon. These tracks were released on a split EP with Jesus and Pals which was sold at school for a small profit, mostly because of Jesus and Pals.

The band delved further into Post-Music with Bag'l Delivery, which featured pots and pans instead of drums. However, they weren't quite there yet because it still had lyrics. Dethkrush was confined to a mental institution so Nekro and Cowfang teamed up with Squeaks to record the RAT EP, which many critics agree is the band's greatest work. The RAT EP was inspired by a roadkill rat near the band's practice space that smelled really brütal so they put it in a jar which Skull Scalper pissed in and buried. The jar was later found mysteriously dug up and empty. The EP features hits like Interspecies Down Syndrome Snuff Erotica, Drowning in a Bloody Bukkake Bonanza, and Tentacle Rape of My Dead Sister's Bloody Shit Laden Cunt. It has been described as Avantcore/Freegrind/Post-Music for its use of growls, shrieks, and retard grunts with not a single lyric and a severely detuned bass plugged into a distorted guitar amp. However, the band's success was cut short when the hatred between Nekro and Cowfang reached its peak. Nekro killed Cowfang and was imprisoned for a while.

Cowfang, being a supernatural entity born of IT, was resurrected as Some Nameless Scummy Guy and busted Nekrofiliak and Dethkrush out of their confinement. It was decided that the hatred between them would only make the band stronger. Okay, actually none of that happened, Cowfang was just a gay alias. The three recorded their debut full-length The Burning of Eden in 2009, which was pretty trü rütz but included a few experimental tracks like the acoustic Sadgrind track When You Can't Say No and a Freegrind cover of Iron Maiden's The Trooper, both of which charted very well. The New Making is a fan favorite but critics prefer Waste of Semen.

In 2010 Decaying Uterus followed up The Burning of Eden with I Fucked Satan in the Ass with the aid of the devil's lettuce on the day that Dio died. To pay tribute, the band recorded Dio Died Today, a Freegrind cover of Holy Diver. Everything else on the album was way too commercial, which is why when the band sold out they reused a lot of those tracks like Hey Hey Negate Me, Pagan Thoughts of Jesus Christ, and Dope Addicted Cunt. They tried to return to the rütz soon afterwards with Raping the Infant Child and failed. The only good track was The Do Si Do With A Gutted Pig Fetus, which was so trüü and brüütuhl that Satan willed mere mortal ears unworthy of hearing it, causing the band to accidentally invent Silencegrind. 1, 2, 3, Bree Bree Bree was a commercial radio hit for its catchy usage of various pitches of "Bree". The rest of the album is universally panned by critics and hated by fans for sounding too rushed. Dethkrush couldn't deal with all of the negative publicity and quit the band, so Nekrofiliak and Scummy Guy hired session member Bibian, a keyboard virtuoso, to record The New Extreme EP, a bold plunge into Acousticgrind with an acoustic guitar, a drumset consisting of a pen and empty soda cans, and a cheap keyboard on a bass setting. The world wasn't ready for The New Extreme and it was a commercial flop, despite the inclusion of covers of popular songs like I Just Saw The Gayest Guy On Earth and the philosophical You Suffer.

Nekrofiliak and Scummy Guy spent all of their life savings paying Bibian for her contribution to The New Extreme, and desperately needed cash. They tried to invent another genre that perhaps the world would be ready for, Torture Metal, with Mutilation Beyond Recognition. Like RAT, it featured a detuned distorted bass with no guitar but the tempos were significantly slower, and it has been described as having elements of Doomgrind. The intro and outro tracks, which together spell out Death Has No Melody, Death Has No Rhythm...We Are Death are recordings of Nekrofiliak and Scummy Guy beating and lacerating each other in a Satanic ritual, reflective of their desperation. Other highlights include Rusty Hammer to the Crooked Nail Lobotomy, considered the first Torture Metal song ever, the Acoustic Folk/Rapgrind track I Caught My Wife Hitting On Some Dude At The Pub So I Killed Him And Took Her To My Basement Where I Repeatedly Raped Her For Five Years...That Was Five Years Ago, and the Bluesgrind track The Guy From Metalocalypse Who Wrote A Song While His Head Was Flying Through The Air After Getting Hit By A Train...Tribute. Squeaks randomly came over while all this was going on, and they tried to kill him but hesitated and failed, remembering that from hatred came strength so he rejoined the band temporarily and performed on the album. Mutilation Beyond Recognition was praised by critics but a commercial flop, so, desperate for cash, they asked Dethkrush if he would rejoin the band if they went in a more commercial direction and actually made some money. He agreed, and the band began working on The Last Laugh EP, which featured commercialized re-recordings of classics Maria, Bag'l Delivery, and Poor Petey, along with the brand new track The Feast Upon Your Souls In The Subconscious Realms Of Darkness In The Omniversal Abyss. This EP, however, was never released because they ran out of cash, and their record label Sewage was unwilling to give them any more funding after the commercial failure of the past few albums. Sewage dropped Decaying Uterus and the band faded into obscurity for a few years.

Nekrofiliak and Scummy Guy, the only remaining two members of the band, struggled to continue without a third member but were finally able to self-release Torture Metal in 2012. The album Torture Metal perfected the genre they hinted at with Mutilation, featuring a 7 string guitar plugged into a bass amp which made even more brütal sounds than bass plugged into a guitar amp. It was recorded at the most brütz sound quality of any DU since the first Maria, and during the last track, an attempt at Skagrind, God struck the band dead to punish them for creating such sinful noise, ending the album. Well, actually they just blew the amp because plugging a guitar into a bass amp is fucking retarded. Critics have praised nearly every track of Torture Metal, including Small Town Pig and Decaying Uterus Sucks for their Death Punk elements, the perfection of Doomgrind with Cum In Your Eye, and the Freegrind cover of Breaking The Law. One commercial acoustic Sadgrind track was included, Force Feeding Vegans Chicken McNuggets, which became a number 1 hit single. The success generated by that track alone caused Dethkrush to beg to rejoin the band, and for Sewage to beg Decaying Uterus to sign back with them. Scummy Guy and Nekrofiliak agreed to all of this, but promised they would finish 2012 with an extremely Post-Music album that would reinvent the band and reinvent sound. Not reinvent THEIR sound. Not reinvent music. Reinvent SOUND.

That album was Canine Vomit Under The Stairs, and if anything the band ever did could be described as Post-Music, it is that. It begins with a rützy track in the Waste of Semen style with some added percussion, and gradually gets more avant-garde, with less normal instruments each track. Zxcvbnm features an acoustic guitar and an electric guitar with three strings, all extremely down tuned and two tuned a half step from each other for easy constant dissonance. It fades into feedback and the closing track, Stepfather's Basement, truly reinvents sound. A guitar is only used for feedback, there are no other instruments, and no vocals. Dethkrush plays the plastic bag very brütuhlly. Of course the world wasn't ready for this so the album ended up selling less than any other ever. Critics panned the album for not being Decaying Uterus anymore, it was too Post-Music and not enough Freegrind. Sewage demanded that the band release the commercial material they had been working on for The Last Laugh. They did, on Side A of a rehearsal tape at the most rütz and brütz sound quality of anything ever, where instruments can barely be heard. They are playing "real music" all right, but you can't hear it. Side B was, of course, rütz. Sewage was pissed and explicitly demanded audible and extremely commercial material for the next one. So Decaying Uterus released a Clean and Unplugged compilation at the beginning of 2013 which was a huge commercial success, featuring previous hits, a Skagrind theme song for the awesome and extremely popular web comic Anarchy Man, a clean version of You Suffer, the Grit n' Roll anthem Scumfucked Life, a heartfelt ballad dedicated to Seth Putnam and G.G. Allin, a commercialized clean version of Hey Hey Negate Me, and an Emogrind song called Alone. Every single track made it to the charts, Alone to the top, and the album was certified Quintuple Platinum. Critics criticized this album for being even less DU than Canine Vomit; it didn't sound like them but it wasn't even trying to invent anything, it was just a bunch of generic commercial bullshit. Decaying Uterus told critics to fuck themselves because they needed to eat and, more importantly, to get drunk.

The band decided they had strayed too far from the rütz and followed up Clean and Unplugged with the RAT LP, which featured four tracks in the style of the RAT EP, a jam of Mayhem songs that came out way too good to be considered actual covers because Mayhem sucks, and a few Canine Vomit style tracks. It was met with mixed reviews, called inconsistent, and was a commercial flop, so Dethkrush quit the band AGAIN because he is a faggot who only cares about money. Nekrofiliak and Scummy Guy followed it up as a two-piece with Faggotry, a forty song concept album that clocks in around 15 minutes total where every song title ends in the word "gay". It was meant to be avant-garde and progressive but ended up actually being a moderate commercial success. The band decided they had found the perfect balance between art and commercial success with this album and tried to do the same with Cat Shit On My Lips, which featured new permanent member Kuntslasher, who had been a guest on Stepfather's Basement, along with an unnamed session harmonica player. The album featured acoustic guitar, bass, harmonica, and percussion with occasional vocals, and expanded the band solidly into Avantcore/Freegrind territory, as well as having strong elements of Bluesgrind. It has been called "the accessible Canine Vomit Under the Stairs". The Crusty Cat was a Freegrind cover of Choking Victim that charted, along with Choo Choo and Extended Cunt, which had to be heavily edited for the radio. Decaying Uterus was pissed that success meant corporate assholes misrepresenting their art, so they followed up this album with Freegrind, which has truly defined the genre and was hated by the mainstream. It features drums, saxophone, keyboard, and bass, but played in a very rütz Avantgrind Post-Music way. The song lengths get progressively longer, culminating in a 20 minute epic, and radio stations could find nothing playable off of it. Indeed, the album sold almost as poorly as Canine Vomit Under the Stairs.

Unfortunately, Nameless Scummy Guy, Nekrofiliak, and Kuntslasher fell prey to greed for money and fame (actually they just really wanted beer money) and stopped being a Post-Music band, instead actually writing songs in a Post-Apocalypsecore style. Did I mention that Decaying Uterus never actually wrote any of their songs and just played them on the spot? Well, now they do, because they are a bunch of sellout faggots. They have re-recruited Dethkrush and have entered the studio to record Free Candy, which they claim will be their greatest album yet, but rumor has it that pressure from Sewage has caused them to finally re-record all of their Post-Music classics and butcher them in their new style that's fucking gay. Some speculate that there will be references to the rütz and even that the album will be something of a compilation, but no one really knows for sure, and no one really cares because Decaying Uterus sucks. Read more on Last.fm. User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License; additional terms may apply.