"Howdy, folks. This next song is a story of a gal who just
couldn't choose between two fellers. One was about the nicest
guy you ever met, and the other one, well, he's kind of a
dick. Let's listen in as these boys settle it the only way
they know how; through singing. And a 1, and a 2... "Make a choice, will it be
A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
Or a guy like me?I would comfort you when you're sad
Well, I would just leave you crying
I would protect you if a lion attacked you
Not trying to fuck with no lion
I would fight a man for your honor
I don't know no kung fu
I'd carry you across a muddy field
Bitch, these Jordans are newMake a choice, will it be
A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
Or a guy like me?I would read you romantic poetry
I'll leave that shit on the shelf
My love making would be sweet and tender
This thing ain't sucking itself, noI would take you to the finest restaurants
Here's an old Baby Ruth
I would tell you how pretty you look tonight
And I would tell you the truthMake a choice, will it be
A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
Or a guy like me?
But ba-by, baby
The choice is up to you
So pick me quickly
'Cause I've got shit to do
It's true dear, I do dear
I want you to be mine
But let's be clear here
I'm still not fighting no lion..."Let's see what happens next...Every day I'd say how much I love you
... I would not
I'd surprise you with gifts and flowers
I'd spend your money on pot, yeahWe would stay up all night just talking
I'd fall asleep when I came
I'd spell your name out with a thousand rose petals
I don't remember your name!Make a choice - will it be
A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
Or a guy like me?Make a choice - will it be
A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
Or a guy like me?"See? I told you he was kind of a dick."
Song Discussions is protected by U.S. Patent 9401941. Other patents pending.