Lose a Number Lyrics

I watched TV til the sun rose
Fell asleep in the same clothes
Woke up alone, picked up the phone
And called the one I said Id never call againI need to lose a number
Someone take my phone awayIt starts with a little tiny trigger, that sparks an even bigger
Memory that rushes over my body, blood begins to simmer
My heart beats a little faster, cuz Ive been hurt
And now the feelings coming back, and Im looking around
Nobody notices now, dont let this happen again
How can I be so weak and, hold the phone like Ive done before
And know everything Im doing is wrongIt gets so bad sometimes, especially after late nights
A little drink, feels like Im doing alright
Then it hits me, grips me quickly
Takes me to that dark place I know, but now I gotta know
Just a little more, thinking answers will alleviate the paranoia
I hold the phone like Ive done before
Still everything Im doing is wrongWont you please pick up the phone
We havent spoken in so long

I cant help myself, I just need to know
How this ended so wrong