Mama Told Me (feat. Akili Nickson) Lyrics

Advisory - the following lyrics contain explicit language:
[Refrain: Chino XL & Akili Nickson]
She said she shouldve done this
She shouldve done that
Pack my bags and never look back
Some things that Ive seen I cant un-see
Ive spent my whole life just trying to get free
And Im never gonna bewithout my pain and misery
But I remember what my mama told me (Mama told me)
Mama told me (Mama told me)
I remember what my mama told me[Verse 1: Chino XL]

I scramble to my feet to regain consciousness
The floor half full of blood, Im a pessimist
It makes sense for me to make my exodus
This scene flashing through child monic movie images
I was nine years old with spine hemorrhages
Just me and him was in the house, no witnesses
All Im thinking is, how Im a live through this
He unclenched his fist, my face grimaces
I dont reminisce, I remember the stress
Feeling nervousness when he came home up the steps
Mom he beatin' me bad first escaped my lips
She said that I was a fuck up and I deserved this shit
What could I have possibly done I was only nine
With fucking stitches in my eye she told me stop crying
Im looking for a sign, the sun dont ever shine
Im an only child; they say that love is blind[Refrain: Chino XL & Akili Nickson]
She said she shouldve done this
She shouldve done that
Pack my bags and never look back
Some things that Ive seen I cant un-see
Ive spent my whole life just trying to get free
And Im never gonna bewithout my pain and misery
But I remember what my mama told me (Mama told me)
Mama told me (Mama told me)
I remember what my mama told me[Verse 2: Chino XL]
Now in retrospect as a father looking back
Having my own flesh of my flesh
Theres no excuse for that
I also have heard that what dont kill us make us stronger
But the abuse that I took, took away my hunger
Living inside my imagination I learned hate
Planning my escape, losing my personal faith
She blamed it on the drugs; she blamed it on the times
She blamed on her moms, but Im the one with scars
Staring at that chipped paint wall in my room
Im 13 years old now I gotta do something soon
It was the 6th of June inside my mouth was a bloody wound
My step father vowed to put in me in a tomb
Momma told me my real daddy didnt want me
I figured this new man must be special if she let him hurt me
Now I aint have a mother, and he aint have no mercy
Why did god curse me? Maybe Im meant to suffer[Refrain: Chino XL & Akili Nickson]
She said she shouldve done this
She shouldve done that
Pack my bags and never look back
Some things that Ive seen I cant un-see
Ive spent my whole life just trying to get free
And Im never gonna bewithout my pain and misery
But I remember what my mama told me (Mama told me)
Mama told me (Mama told me)
I remember what my mama told me[Verse 3: Chino XL]
I finally decided that I wouldnt take it no more
I had a steak knife that Ive been hiding in my right drawer
He had punch my right jaw just the night before
I stood silently outside his bedroom door
But every breath I took I felt like there was angels with me
Soon his death would be a mystery even to me
I saw a shadow move, he finally coming through
I swung a knife at dude, if I had only knew
The life slipping out a body was my mom dukes
I had no idea that she was in the room too
Wiping tears from my eyes this cant be true
My step father drunk in the bed still off cheap brew
I knelled down to momma to hear a last truth
She said son I never loved him more than you
I still hate myself, I tried to hang myself
The leather belt broke, that was 20 years ago[Chino XL & Akili Nickson]
Refrain x2
She said she shouldve done this
She shouldve done that
Pack my bags and never look back
Some things that Ive seen I cant un-see
Ive spent my whole life just trying to get free
And Im never gonna bewithout my pain and misery
But I remember what my mama told me (Mama told me)
Mama told me (Mama told me)
I remember what my mama told me