Qualifications Lyrics

With my qualifications
With my qualifications
I could get me a job walking a dog
Chopping a log, cleaning a bogWith my qualifications
With my qualifications
I could see myself stacking a shelf
As a sales assistant at do-it-yourselfWith my qualifications
With my qualificationsAnd my brother worked night and day
At the Eurostar Terminal
And the government gave it awaySo what's the point in University?
For three years, I read philosophy
Now I read bar codes all day long
Beep, beep, beep sings that check-out songWith my qualifications
Talking 'bout my qualificationsWould you like to see my Ph.D.?
My BSE? My GCSE?
I gotta first in physics so I ought to know
If your fries are for here or to go