Retrospect for Life (feat. Lauryn Hill) Lyrics

Yo we gotta start respectin' life more y'all
You look at your brother man you gotta see yourself
Gotta see the God within him
Brothers gettin' changed real quick over nothin'
We losin' too many of ours, gotta recreate y'all, yo check itKnowin' you the best part of life, do I have the right to take yours
'Cause I created you irresponsibly
Subconsciously knowin' the act I was a part of
The start of somethin', I'm not ready to bring into the world
Had myself believin' I was sterileI look into mother's stomach, wonder if you are a boy or a girl
Turnin' this woman's womb into a tomb
But she and I agree, a seed we don't need
You would've been much more than a mouth to feed
But someone, I woulda fed this information I readTo someone, my life for you I woulda had to leave
Instead I lead you to death
I'm sorry for takin' your first breath, first step, and first cry
But I wasn't prepared mentally nor financially
Havin' a child shouldn't have to bring out the man in me
Plus I wanted you to be raised within' a familyI don't wanna, go through the drama of havin' a baby's momma

Weekend visits and buyin' J's ain't gon' make me a father
For a while bearing a child is somethin' I never wanted to do
For me to live forever I can only do that through youNerve I got to talk about them niggaz with a gun
Must have really thought I was God to take the life of my son
I could have sacrificed goin' out
To think my homies who did it I used to joke about, from now onI'ma use self control instead of birth control
'Cause 315 dollars ain't worth your soul
315 dollars ain't worth your soul
315 dollars ain't worth itI, never dreamed you'd leave, in summer
You said you would be here when it rained
(Common)
Yo, why didn't you stay?Seeing you as a present and a gift in itself
You had our child in you, I probably never feel what you felt
But you dealt with it like the strong black woman you are
Through our trials and tribulations, child's elimination
An integration of thoughts I feel about the situationBack and forth my feelings was pacin'
Happy deep down but not joyed enough to have it
But even that's a lie in less than two weeks, we was back at it
Is this unprotected love or safe to say it's lust
Bustin', more than the sweat in somebody you trustOr is it that we don't trust each other enough
And believe, havin' this child'll make us have to stay together
Girl I want you in my life 'cause you have made it better
Thinkin' we all in love 'cause we can spend a day togetherWe talkin' spendin' the rest of our lives
It's too many black women that can say they mothers
But can't say that they wives
I wouldn't chose any other to mother my understanding
But I want our parenthood to come from planningIt's so much in my life that's undone
We gotta see eye to eye, about family, before we can become one
If you had decided to have it the situation I wouldn't run from
But I'm walkin', findin' myself in my God
So I can, discipline my son with my writin'Not have a judge tellin' me how and when to raise my seed
Though his death was at our greed, with no one else to blame
I had a book of Afrikan names, case our minds changed
You say your period hasn't came and lately I've been sleepy
So quit smokin' the weed and the beadies and let's have this boyI, never dreamed you'd leave in summer
You said you would be here when it rained
You said you would be here when it rained
Ohh I, never dreamed you'd leave in summer
Now the situation's made things changeThings change, why, didn't you stay?
Why didn't you stay?
I, never dreamed you'd leave, in summer, in summer
You said you would be here when, it rained
When it rained, it rainedOhooh I, never dreamed, you'd leave in summer
You said you wouldn't leave
Now the situation's made things change
Things change, why didn't you stay?
Stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay
Mmm, stay, uh-uh, oh, why didn't you stay?