My conscience finally got to me
Workin' sixty hours a week
Leavin' her alone, bored to death at home
So, one day, I asked off earlyI dropped that bottle of wine
When I flipped on the light
You can't imagine mySurprise, they were havin' a real good time
Yeah, I nearly lost my mind
When I saw the leather an' spikes around her neckAn' he was handcuffed to my bed
An' I thought he was my friend
Guess, it was all lies, yeah, surpriseThe judge gave her all I had
An' he did the same for my old friend
Yeah, his Lexus an' his house all went to his spouse
So, when I moved out, he just moved inHe went back to get his drawers
At the place he lived before
Guess who answered the door?Surprise, I hooked up with his ex-wife
Who's prettier an' sweeter than mine
Now, we're livin' his XRI Jacuzzi bathYeah, we just sit back in them bubbles an' laugh
While they're livin' in my run down shack
Yeah, serves 'em right, surpriseSurprise, surprise, yeah, that trip to Mali sure was nice
Oh, in Vegas, we rolled the dice
Now, it's steak an' taters every nightNext weekend, yeah, we're headed off to Disneyland
Yeah, I knew he was rich but now
Hell, I can retire, surprise