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Talkin' Candy Bar Blues

Bought a candy bar the other day

Only ate half, s'gonna throw the rest away

When I saw this kid playin' in the street

I said, "Hey kid, you want somethin' to eat?"

He said, "Whut?", I said "Candy, son", he said, "Help"

Then he started to run and I stood there

Watchin' him go, half a bar of chocolate

Runnin' down my fingersWell, the kid comes back in a minute or two

But his mom's with him and the neighbors too

And they got the kid scared it's plain to see

They say, "Which one done it?" he points at me

He says "Him", I say, "What do you mean?"

He says "You!" then he starts to scream

And I'm standin', everybody's lookin'

Everybody's starin' at meHowdy doody, y'all waitin' for the bus?

Ah, a little late isn't it, anybody got a watch?

We could uh see how late it is

I got a better idea, let's find somebody with a watch

And stare at himWell some start pickin' up baseball bats

And the others are pullin' the pins from their hats

"I think this thing's gone a little too far

Hell, I only offered him a candy bar", I said, "Wait"

I said, "What are you doin'?"

They said, "Prevert the kid's life is ruined"

"Oh oh well, then you better check what he's chewin'

'Cause I got the feelin' he's in the middle of a bubble gum orgy"Well, they're comin' at me and I'm backin' away

And then I hear this policeman say

"Are you positive he's the right man?"

I quick flicked the candy bar out of my hand

He says, "Show me", I says, "Show ya what?"

He says the candy bar you degenarut and he grabs me

He grabs both my hands, pretty easy to see

Which hands got the chocolateWell, I've had some troubled times before

But none like the trip from the candy store

Sympathize with the kid all right

Somebodys nice to ya, probably aint right

I'll grow up, I'll learn the way

I'll learn so that my later days'll be prosperous

Chocolate covered

If I don't bite off more than I can hide

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