Tampon Lollipops Lyrics

Ralph the janitor enjoys his job
He sweeps and mops up the garbage and crud
While alone at night he searches for goodies
He goes into every room hoping and praying that someone is flowing
Discarded plastic applicators in the bathrooms left behind by fertile young
chicks
Discarded plastic applicators in the bathrooms just waiting to be collected
Heavy days are here again it's that time of the month
Tampons and pads are easily accessible he senses the disposal of soiled
cotton bags one of the many perks of his job
In a woman's stall he takes a tampon and he dips it into the bowl
Sucking out the menstrual goop he swishes the flavor around his mouth
Discarded plastic applicators in the bathrooms left behind by fertile young
chicks
Discarded plastic applicators in the bathrooms just waiting to be collected
Rub a pile of moistened maxi pads on your face in order to prevent breaking
out in blackheads and zits
Dip a rag in a steaming cup of water, vampire tea is my favorite