That's the Man Lyrics

THAT'S THE MAN!
music & lyrics by Jackie Hoffman
"Well, I for one, am glad they weren't cracking down on those illegal immigrants when I was single. Otherwise, I *never* would have gotten laid! There it is!"
A Doctor with a Yarmulke,
The Perfect Model Jew!
Bores me like Accountants
And the Others always do.
But a Puerto Rican BusBoy
With a knife and a tattoo ...
That's the Man for Me!
Rabbinical Professional
Accomplished Gentlemen?
Don't want any part of that.
Don't set me up again!
Give me a Goy who stabbed his ex-wife

And is doing Five-to-Ten ...
That's the Man for Me!
Jewish men aren't the only ones
Who crave Forbidden Fruit!
Give me my own "America's Most Wanted!"
Fill me like an Empañada!
He is just too cute!
If you provide security,
Then I will lose you quick ...
If you're a wholesome family man,
Then you just make me sick ...
But if I can get an STD
From even THINKING about your dick ...
That's the Man ...
Uncivilized and sleazy!
That's the Man!
Uncircumcised and cheesy!
That's The Man ...
"No Habla Español! If you don't have change for a twenty I'm going to have to find some other way to tip you!" ...
For Me!
"¡Gracias!"
contributed by Tom Orr, San Francisco
[email protected]
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Lyrics submitted by Tom Orr.