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The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions - Adam Sandler



     
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The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Lyrics


"And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a
prestigious college."
Dean: "Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations
on your upcoming graduation and I understand you are interested in
matriculating here in the fall."
Buffoon: "I got a snake, man!"
Dean: "Yes, pets are welcome here on campus. Be it the traditional dog,
or cat, or even the occasional reptile."
Buffoon: "One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way
and that! It was all fucked up!"
Dean: "I'm sure it was. Well we discourage inappropriate drinking among
both students and pets here on campus."
Buffoon: "Fuckin' Shit!"
Dean: "Yes, that's a not uncommon reaction to this policy. So tell me a
little bit more about your background."
Buffoon: "My father's a fucking asshole, man!"
Dean: "Hmm, I see. Your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age
son."

Buffoon: "My mother's a piece of shit too!"
Dean: "Well, I hope you can find an outlet for your hostility over the
summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed and ready to
learn."
Buffoon: "My teacher in high school was a stupid bitch, man! She had her
head way up her ass!"
Dean: "Well the quality of the faculty at a University such as ours far
exceeds that of a local public high school."
Buffoon: "Your secretary's a real fat bitch, man!"
Dean: "Yes, she's tried many diets over the years with minimal success."
Buffoon: "I had diarhea last month. I had to shit all fucking day!"
Dean: "Uh huh, Well we all get the occasional stomach bug, never a
pleasurable experience. So have you given any thought to your choice of
major?"
Buffoon: "I've got a big fucking boner right now."
Dean: "I see. Well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods of
nervous tension. I do not take offense."
Buffoon: "One time I ate my neighbors shit!"
Dean: "That's understandable. Well, I enjoyed meeting you. We'll be
sending you our decision by the end of the month."
Buffoon: "I bet you got really hairy balls."
Dean: "Yes, it's a veritable forest down there. Bye bye."

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Adam Richard Sandler (born September 9, 1966 in Brooklyn, New York) is an American comedian, actor, musician, screenwriter and film producer. After becoming a Saturday Night Live cast member in 1991, he went on to star in several Hollywood feature films that have grossed over US$100 million at the box office. He released his first album, They're All Gonna Laugh at You!, in 1993 and it recieved a a Grammy award nomination for Best Comedy Album. He has since released 1996's What the Hell Happened to Me?, 1997's What's Your Name?, 1999's Stan and Judy's Kid, and finally 2004's Shhh Don't Tell.

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Adam Sandler