DamnLyrics - The center provides all the lyrics

The Poodle Lecture - Frank Zappa



     
Page format: Left Center Right
Direct link:
BB code:
Embed:

The Poodle Lecture Lyrics


FZ:In the beginning God made 'the light.' Shortly thereafter God made three big
mistakes. The first mistake was called MAN, the second mistake was called
WO-MAN, and the third mistake was the invention of THE POODLE. Now the reason
the poodle was such a big mistake is because God originally wanted to build a
Schnauzer, but he fucked up. Now a long time ago, the poodle used to be a very
attractive dog. The poodle had hair evenly distributed all over its small
piquant canine type BODY. That's the way it used to be, the poodle used to be a
regular looking dog. You know it's true, I guess you do too. (Oh, I have to
kiss you? Oh okay.)Anyway listen, check this out. The poodle used to look good, you know the
regular dogs that used to hang out in the neighbourhood looked at the poodle,
didn't think anything of it. You know, they didn't use to make fun of it in the
olden days. But the WO-MAN, as you know, has always been much smarter than the
MAN.Guy In The Audience:You're the best!FZ:That stuff is very bad for you, throw it away, okay. Now you're interrupting my
story, now listen . . . What is that? Is that the Tower of Power or what? Oh no
no, it's one of those dope fiend devices, take it away. Now listen:The WO-MAN has always been much smarter than the MAN, you know this is true.
And so it was since the beginning of time. The MAN would do anything to get
some pussy. And that's why the WO-MAN always had control over him.In the beginning the WO-MAN looked the MAN directly into the eye and said: "I
tell you what, why don't you go get a job because I could use a few nice things

around the house. Mainly what I need is a clipper, a scissors, and a pair of
zircon encrusted tweezers." (Thank you very much.)And of course the MAN did his duty as they say in the trade. He went out and he
got a goddamn job. Went out and pushed that broom around for about a
dollar-2.98 an hour, brought his money back to the garden of Eden and gave that
money to the WO-MAN.The WO-MAN ran out the back door of the garden of Eden, went directly to the
hardware store, got the clippers, the scissors and the zircon encrusted
tweezers and came back and, while the MAN was very tired from having his job,
while he was sleeping, the WO-MAN got a hold of the POODLE. Because the WO-MAN
had noticed earlier that the length and proportion of the poodle oral
appendage, the tongue of the dog in other words, ladies and gentlemen, was very
much to her liking, except that this dog had too goddamn much hair on it. It
didn't have the disco look that's so popular nowadays.And so the WO-MAN sat out to modify the aforementioned dog. Let me get a little
uh, visual aid . . .Now she took the dog and she cleaned it up a little bit. You see, she took a
little bit of the back-part here, around the neck, the thorax, the tootsies.
Got all of the unwanted extranious material off this area which we shall call
Burbank. Then she set the little sucker up like this, really nice, got his
mouth set up like that. And squatted right ON HIM. Looking down into the dog's
eyes. She looked down into the dog's eyes, do you know what she said to the
dog? She said:

Enjoy the lyrics !!!
Frank Vincent Zappa (1940-1993) was an American composer, guitarist, singer, bandleader and producer. He was one of the most prolific musicians of his time, releasing over fifty albums of original material spanning over a thirty-five year career.

Born on 21st December 1940 in Baltimore, Maryland, Zappa's earliest influences were 1950s pop and rock (such as doo-wop and rhythm and blues), and 20th-century classical composers including Igor Stravinsky and Edgard Varèse. His output was divided between adventurous instrumental compositions and succinct, catchy rock songs with ribald, satirical, or comically absurd lyrics. On stage he demanded virtuosity and spontaneity from his musicians, and employed many performers who would later go on to achieve fame in their own rights. He directed and released a number of films featuring himself, his musicians and entourage, including 200 Motels and Baby Snakes.

His career started in 1955. His earliest recordings date from the mid-1960s, and include collaborations with his school friend Captain Beefheart. In 1965 he joined a bar-band called The Soul Giants, quickly dominating its musical direction and rechristening it The Mothers. Their first release (as The Mothers of Invention; the name alteration requested by their record company) was the 1966 double album Freak Out!. The line-up of the Mothers gradually expanded to accommodate Zappa's increasingly ambitious and avant-garde music, but by 1969 he decided to work outside the band structure, focusing on his solo career, and effectively disbanding the Mothers in 1971.

The beginnings of his solo career in the late sixties and early seventies was characterised by a strong free jazz influence, with albums containing little, if any, lyrical content, such as Hot Rats, Waka/Jawaka and The Grand Wazoo. Towards the mid-seventies his albums became more rock-orientated, with a combination of jazz fusion instrumentation and rock song structures. This more accessible sound bore reasonable mainstream appeal, especially with the release of the well-advertised albums Over-Nite Sensation and Apostrophe (') (which both went Gold), but Zappa's unpredictably eclectic output never led to solid mainstream recognition. He receieved uniformly lukewarm reviews from popular music publications such as Rolling Stone throughout his career. In his late seventies' output, the gulf between his humorous songs and more lengthy, complex instrumental music widened, and albums, such as Zappa In New York, Joe's Garage: Acts I, II & III, and Sleep Dirt displayed, by track, both sides firmly segregated.

Zappa saw a second run of success in the early eighties with the release of many albums with predominantly comedic rock songs, but later continued to experiment with virtually every style of music through the eighties, and was productive as ever until his death. His output in this later-career period included two albums of strikingly original classical music with the London Symphony Orchestra, an electronic take on 18th-century chamber music (written by the obscure Italian composer 'Francesco Zappa', no relation), an album of synclavier compositions (misleadingly titled Jazz From Hell which garnered a Grammy award), a double-CD release of electric guitar instrumental music (the laconically titled Guitar) and a plenitude of official live releases, revisiting fan-favourites as well as showcasing Zappa's talent for reinventing the music of others; his version of Stairway To Heaven becoming a word-of-mouth favourite.

Zappa produced almost all of his own albums, spending many hours in the studio recording and manipulating tracks, and was always at the forefront of emerging technologies; from tape editing, collage, multitrack and overdubbing in the sixties to digital recording, electronic instruments and sampling in the eighties. Conversely, Zappa was also a obsessive self-archivist, recording virtually every one of his live performances, and often using live recordings of new material without needing to enter the studio. The archive of tapes at his family home in Los Angeles continues to be a source of posthumous releases for the Zappa Family Trust. He was also noted as a spotter of talent and his shifting line-up of musicians included Lowell George, Jean-Luc Ponty, Terry Bozzio, Chad Wackerman, George Duke, Mike Keneally, Adrian Belew and Steve Vai, as well as giving Alice Cooper his first break in music and working again with his old collaborator Captain Beefheart when his career was in decline.

In the late 1980s he became active in politics, campaigning against the PMRC's music censorship scheme and acting as culture and trade representative for Czechoslovakia in 1989; and considered running as an independent candidate for president of the US.

His death in Los Angeles, California, on 4th December 1993 came three years after he was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License and may also be available under the GNU FDL.

View All

Frank Zappa