Wig Master Lyrics

You said, "I'll build you a bed of cactus where you could sleep when the night is too sharp."
I said, "I'll cover you with wax and light your hair like a wick when the night is too cold."
You don't think of me as often as I'd like you to,
But when you do it's of me looking for you on the ship.
The plane I'm waiting on has your face printed on the wings,
When it crashes I'll eat the paint off.
I'm going to spank your ass so hard you'll hate the wig master,
But I'll put two pillows on your dining room chair.
You're like a parrot, something that belongs to me and not to you.
Loneliness isn't being alone, it's when someone loves you and you don't have it in you to love them back.
Look at my hair, it's a dirty little mop crying for you to send it away.
All a guy needs is a chance to pull off my clothes and snicker, "try harder."
If you mail me a toy, I'll use it, but that's the most I have to offer.
"Do you want to see my panties?" is the last thing I'll ever say to you.
"I want to finger every teenager I see," is the last thing you'll say to me.
Don't make fun of my night out.