Oh, yeah, well, Gold Digger took my money
Dipped my heart and hands in honey
Ol' Snake Lady stole my savings
Told Gold Digger she was having my babiesWell, Gold Digger swung, snake lady fell
Yeah, I took Gold Digger up to Chapel Hill
Oh, I married her fast, murdered her young
Took my money back and made my runWell, bus driver yeah, all in red
Pull this bus over and end up dead
Yeah, go drive this bus down to Mexico
Park it on a cliff where that good grass growsUntil a chopper came along one sunny day
To burn my crops, lock me away
Girl I'm eager, young and qualified
Got a date with that chair in late JulyOh, yeah, well, my mama, old and grey
Sittin' at-a home just a-weepin' away
Her only boy washed down the drain
Gonna take her son and lock him away
Well, mama should be oh proud of me
I lived like a man, oh, I'll die like a king
Cause I'm eager, young and qualified
Got a date with that chair in late JulyBut my pappy, old and fat
Chewin his cigar with his hair slicked back
Yeah, roll him over, beat him black
Say it's from that boy he never had
Well, papa should be in my place
To fry like bacon, hang like lace
Cause I'm eager, young and qualified
I got a date with that chair in late JulyYeah so, oh Big Betty, oh my old squeeze
Oh, kiss you so good, you go weak in the knees
Yeah, gon' to see her old man pop
I wanna have you there when my big heart stops
But don't you worry, oh don't you fret
Oh, I won't die with no regrets
Cause I'm eager, young and qualified
Cause I'm eager, young and starry-eyed
Oh, the big leagues call and I reply
I got a date with that chair in late July
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