Miss Lucy Had Some Leeches Lyrics

Miss Lucy had some leeches, her leeches liked to suck
And when they drank up all her blood she didn't give a
Funny when the doctors had locked her in her cell
Miss Lucy screamed all night that they should go to bloody
Hello to the surgeon with scalpel old and blunt
He'll tie you to the table, then he'll mutilate your
Come, it's nearly teatime, the lunatics arrive
The keepers bleed them all until there's no one left a
Lively little rodents are eaten up by cats
We're subject to experiments like laboratory rats
I've dropped a teacup, how easily they break
I'm on my hands and knees until I pay for my mis
Take off all your clothing, we've only just begun
We have no anesthesia, it's eighteen forty
One thing we should tell you before you try again
The tests are invented by a lot of filthy
Mentally hysteric, she's failed the exam
Don't bother telling Lucy for she doesn't give a damn

That's nitrous oxide for when you can't escape
They say the surgeons oft commit a murder or a
Razor blades are rusty and not a lot of fun
So when they try to amputate your legs, you'd better
Run and fetch the chemist, a patient's feeling sad
She's been in chains for ages and she isn't even
Madness is a nuisance and no one is immune
Your sister, mum or daughter may become a raving
Lunatics are dangerous and doctors are obeyed
They also go together just like toast and marma
Ladies are like children with brains the size of squirrels
Let's give a clitoridectomies to all the little
Girls are helpless treasures that daddies must protect
So lie upon the table for the doctors to in
Speculums are super and stirrups all the rage
So spread a lady's legs and then put her back in to her
Cage of naked crazies, the surgeon's here to bleed
The doctors are all learned men and some can even
Reading can be risky for women on the verge
It only did us worlds of good to poison, leech and
Purging is a penance, phlebotomy's a chore
No need to sterilize the tools, we never did be
Fore the night is over, before you go to bed
They'll take a hammer and nail and jam it in your
Headstones in the courtyard and statues in the park
Are not for the insane, just leave them rotting in the
D-A-R-K, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark