One Man Shows Lyrics

I'm 19 years old, I'm a young comedian
I hate that term, "young comedian", you know
I prefer "prodigy"
And people, they pigeonhole me as a comic
You know, which is so disingenuous 'cause I'm not a comic, I'm an artist
And I don't do comedy shows, I do one man shows
And I've been doing them, uh
1998 was actually my first one man show
It was a show about Jews in Nazi Germany called Under the Floor Boards
I'll do a scene from that, uh, right now
No no no
Watch and then judge
This is a scene from Under the Floor Boards
"Hey, shh"
And then '99
'99, I did a show called The Catholic Orgasm, I'll do a scene from that
(Moaning)
(Sobbing)

2000, I did a piece called The Inappropriate Musician, I'll do a scene from that
"Mike
Mike, back off the ledge, Mike, th-
Mike, think about your kids, do you want them to grow up without a father, is that what you want, Mike?! Mi-
Please listen to me, I'm your friend
No, Mike, don't jump!
No, Mike, no!
(Slide whistle down)
(Slide whistle up)
"He's saved"
2001, I did John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath
Except I adapted it into a story about an intergalactic sexual predator called The Rapes of Grath
2002, I did a piece, if you're familiar with The Elephant Man
I did a piece based off that called Bulldog Man (Voice cracks when he says "man")
Oh, also known as Bulldog Man (Says "man" properly) for those who hit puberty
And I uh
I'll do a monologue from that right now
(Silence)
(Laughter)
For those listening on the CD, I kind of look like a bulldog
2003, 4? 3. Doesn't matter, I'm lying
2000-
2004, I did a piece called Sm