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The Hammer (skit) - MC Chris



     
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The Hammer (skit) Lyrics


Geek: ...economics, I love economics...Bully: HEY over there! Where do you think you're going?Geek: I'm gonna go home!Bully: Thought you were gonna get out of school without talking to me first?
Geek: School's over. I wanna go--Bully: I got some recollections I want to share with you.Geek: Oh, recollections on what?Bully: Let me think back on how many of your family members'
CUNTS I've licked today!Geek: Oh, how offensive!Bully: Let's see, your SISTER...Geek: Oh!Bully: ...your MOTHER...Geek: Not my mother!Bully: ...Your GRANDMOTHER...Geek: My grandmother?Bully: I dug up your GREAT GRANDMOTHER...Geek: Oh, you wouldn't!Bully: Her cunt tasted like SKELETONS!Geek: Oh, that's gross!Bully: HAHAHAHAHAGeek: HEY! How do you feel about THIS!?Bully: Oh my God! Aah!Geek: I bought this gun at lunch!!Bully Oh my God!Geek: And now I am pointing it right at your face!!I'm tired of the way you've been treating me!!And I'm not gonna take it anymore!!Bully: Please! Please! I...I...looking at your gun,
I...I'm rethinking all of my bullyism...and I...uh...
I just think if I were to get a second chance...
Geek: You can't get a second chance!! You are way too mean,
and therefore, you deserve to get capped!!
I am pulling back the...
thing that you pull back before you fire the gun!!Bully: The hammer?Geek: NOW I AM PULLING THE TRIGGER!!Bully: OH MY GOD!
YOU PULLED THE TRIGGER ON THE GUN AND THE BULLET'S
FLYING OUT OF THE GUN AT LIGHTNING SPEED! AAH!
OW! IT HIT ME IN THE HEAD!Geek: HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, BULLY!? HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT!?Bully: AAH! OW! I'm dying...dying.Geek: Wait a minute, what have I done? (cries)
I'm sorry...who will I talk to now? What have I done...
what have I done?
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Chris Ward, otherwise known as mc chris (always free from punctuation and capitalization), is a voice actor, rapper and improvisational comedian born September 2, 1975, in Libertyville, Illinois. His trademarks include the synthesis of his "geek" heritage with the "gangster" image associated with hiphop artists, and the high pitch of his voice, celebrated in his 2003 song "10 Year Old" (likening his voice to a child of ten years age).

He has appeared on many of Williams Street Studios' shows on Adult Swim, most notably Aqua Teen Hunger Force (as the crude and often misguided MC Pee Pants) and Sealab 2021 (in some bit parts, consistently recurring as the also crude and often misguided Hesh), and a part in The Brak Show. He also wrote for Sealab 2021 and The Brak Show, and later lent a track to the online music game Flash Flash Revolution.

Chris has released eight albums, the first of which is downloadable for free on his website. The albums are:
[2001] Life's A Bitch and I'm her Pimp
[2003] Knowing is Half the Hassle
[2004] Eating's Not Cheating (Re-Released in 2005 with additional tracks)
[2006] Dungeon Master of Ceremonies
[2008] mc chris Is Dead
[2009] Part Six Part One/Two/Three
[2011] Marshmellow Playground
[2011] Race Wars

He completed several successful tours across the U.S. In October of 2004, he announced his resignation from Cartoon Network to the public on his blog to focus on his recording career (roughly halfway through the entry), but has said that he is willing to return to William Street when needed. He has since toured throughout the continental United States in an effort to expose all of America to the growing genre of nerdcore rap. mc chris encourages fans to mix his songs and play their own role in the growth of what is a relatively new genre.

In January of 2006, mc chris was a nominee for Spin Magazine's "Band of the Year" contest at Spin.com. But after gaining an over 20% margin in his first round battle with Demander, the voting was suspiciously shut down "for maintenance" and when it came back online Demander had been declared the winner. Demander has since denounced the results.

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