This Offer Is Unrepeatable - Elvis Costello & The Brodsky Quartet

This Offer Is Unrepeatable Lyrics

DON'T SEND ANY MONEY!
For fate has no price
Ignore at your peril this splendid advice
An invaluable link in an infinite chain
An offer like this will just not come againYou wish you had women to charm and bewitch
Power of life and death over the rich
Young girls will be swooning because you're exciting them
Not only fall at your feet but be biting themGuaranteed, guaranteed to capture your breath
Or possibly scare you to death
Sign it and seal it and send it to friends
Don't mention my name
Don't make any long term plans
In thirty-six hours your fortunes will change
Your best friends won't know you and neither will strangers
Do not keep this letter, it must leave your hand
You have been selected from over five thousandA twister and dupe will bamboozle or hoodwink you
I can't say more, it would only confuse you
The wine they will offer will go to your head

And you'll start to see double in fishes and breadGuaranteed, guaranteed for a lifetime or more
Guaranteed, for this world and the next
Guaranteed, guaranteed for the world and its mother
Cherish this life as you won't get another oneUNLESS you should take up this fabulous offer
Don't leave it too late or you'll be bound to suffer
Woebetide anyone so woebegone
You won't know you're born or about to pass on
You'll never get tired
You'll never get bored
By the way, I just hope you're insured
If you're not satisfied
If you want more
We can always provide an improved overture
Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable
This offer is unrepeatableYour troubles will vanish
Your tears will dry
Your blessings will just multiply
Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable
This offer is unrepeatableGuaranteed, guaranteed to bring fortune and favour
In a riot of colours and flavours
Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable
This offer is unrepeatableWould I lie to you?
Would I sell you a dud?
Just sign on the line
Could you possibly write it in blood?
Song Discussions is protected by U.S. Patent 9401941. Other patents pending.