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Vasectomy - Roy Zimmerman



     
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Vasectomy Lyrics


Well, I went to see my Doctor,
I said, "Doc, I can't pay my bills!
The rent's all spent,
The truck's got a dent,
And I think I'm gettin' the chills
From being forced to sleep alone,
You see this house just ain't no home,
I can't afford no kids,
My life is on the skids,
'Cause my woman says
"Leave me alone,
Unless you get a vasectomy!
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Just one little male alteration
Can keep us from another altercation!
Get a vasectomy!
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Oh what a vas deferens there could be!"Well, the next thing I know,

I'm laying on a table
With a light shinin' in my eyes!
They strapped my wrists,
They strapped my ankles,
And they double-strapped my thighs!The nurses were a gigglin'
And I was a wigglin',
Most uncomfortably,
When the Doc walked in,
With a perverted grin,
And here's what he said to me:"It only hurts
For a little while,
That's what they tell me,
That's what they say!"Oooeeeiy! Ooooh! Aiiiy Oh!Well, it's two weeks later,
And I feel a little better,
My mind is more at ease.
The rent's still spent,
The truck's got a dent,
But my woman's no longer a tease!And even down at the office,
There is a lot more interest in me,
The girls all grin when I walk in!
And brother, they mean to please
A man with a vasectomy,
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Like a sun-kissed orange,
I've been squeezed,
'Cause its all juice and there's no seed!Well, a vasedctomy!
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Oh what a vas deferens!
It's beginnin' to make a little sense!
Oh what a vas deferens there could...'Here is the part that I like the most,
It takes the danger out of bein' close!Oh what a vas deferens there could..They snip those little suckers right in two
And clamp 'em of with super-glue!Oh what a vas deferens there could be!

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Roy Zimmerman is a guitarist/songwriter/satirist who founded the Southern California folk quartet The Foremen. The quartet pulled off the remarkable feat of performing at the national conventions of both major American political parties in 1996. The Foremen continued on for a short time after Zimmerman went on to become a solo act, writing and performing topical songs on subjects ranging from Martha Stewart to supermodels to television to religious fundamentalism to the state of the country and the world.

Read more about Roy Zimmerman on Last.fm.


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Roy Zimmerman