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We Only Read The Headlines

You can cut to the chase

And you know its okay

Cause we only read the headlines

We only read the headlinesBaby get to the point

And quit the foul play

We only read the headlines

We only read the headlines anyways54% of bank robberies take place on a Friday

Women blink nearly twice as much as men

Elvis never ever gave an encore

The number of wars fought between countries

That both have at least one McDonalds is zero

Every 5 minutes an area of rain forest the size of a foot ball field

Is eliminated

Women who read romance novels

Have sex twice as often as those who don't

Did you know?

A can of diet coke will float in water

While a can of regular coke will sink

The Muppet show was banned from TV in Saudi Arabia

Because one of its stars was a pig

Males on average think about sex

Every 7 seconds

More than 50% of the people in the world have never made

Or received a telephone call

Syphilis has risen 500% in the last six years in London

Why is it that everybody seems to get older?

Except for Cliff RichardYou can cut to the chase

And you know its okay

Cause we only read the headlines

We only read the headlinesBaby get to the point

And quit the foul play

We only read the headlines

We only read the headlines anyways1 out of 10 girls under 20 is carrying Chlamydia

According to several sources

Dr. Harvey Kellogg tried to make a cure for masturbation

When he made cornflakes

Women are 30% more active during a full moon

Indonesia is the country with the highest scout membership

In every single episode of Seinfeld

There's a superman in at least one scene somewhere

If you weighed all the animals in the world

Hens would be 10% of the total weightIn Minnesota there's a law

That prevents men from having sex with living fish

Jimmy Carter can read 2000 words per minute

Humans and dolphins are the only species

That have sex for pleasure

Danny DeVito is taller than Dolly PartonYou can cut to the chase

And you know its okay

Cause we only read the headlines

We only read the headlinesIn the papers on the news

Heavens heard there's no excuse

In formations everywhere

All you need to know is right hereIt's possible to attend your own funeral

Because the human brain continues to send out electrical wave signals

For up to 37 hours following deathWe only read the headlines

We only read the headlines

We only read the headlinesYou can cut to the chase

And you know its okay

Cause we only read the headlines

We only read the headlinesBaby get to the point

And quit the foul play

We only read the headlines

We only read the headlines anyways

Songwriters

DOUGLAS, JONATHAN/RASTED, SORENPublished by

Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc. Song Discussions is protected by U.S. Patent 9401941. Other patents pending.

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