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Whittlin' Man - Stephen Lynch



     
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Whittlin' Man Lyrics


In the woods of Northern Michigan he made his home
Didn't ask much from the world, just wanted to be alone
And got his first real blade at thirteen thats when it all began
and soon the creatures of the forest called him whittlin' manyeahhe whittled all day and he whittled all night
he whittled whittled whittled everything in sight
he whittled on a stick
he whittled on his shoe
and if you come too close he'll whittle you tookeep a safe distance if you can
cause you're never safe around whittlin' manhad a stump to sit on
had some wood, had his trusty knife
whittled out a house, a car
and he whittled himself a wife (such a beautiful wife)
whittled out four kids, a swimming pool and a big leer jet
and so he wouldn't miss saved by the bell, well he whittled a T.V. setyeahhe whittled if its light, and he whittled if its dark
and if no one was around well he'd whittle in the nark
he'd whittle something new and he'd whittle something old
he'd whittle some hot and he'd whittle some rather chillykeep a safe distance if you can
because you're never safe around whittlin' manbreak it downsome say whittlin' man's a genius, still others say he's just dumb

he whittled off a foot an ear, three fingers and his left thumb
boy is he dumb
that won't stop him, no it won't
he'll whittle through thick and thin
once he's whittled everything, he'll just whittle it all againyeahhe whittled if it was white, and he whittled if its black
and he whittled on a duck til the duck can't quack
he whittled if it was dry and he whittled if its juicy
whittled on Desi and he whittled on Lucy
whittled JFK and he whittled Jackie O
whittled old Larry and Curly and Moe
and he whittled Frank Zappa and he whittled Tipper Gore
whittle whittle whittle til he can't no more
whittled Shamu and he whittled on Jaws
whittled The Easter Bunny and he whittled Santa Claus
and whittle whittle whittle just fast he can
whittle till he's dead, he's whittlin' man

Enjoy the lyrics !!!
Stephen Lynch is an American singer and comedian, famous for his raunchy comic lyrics. He was born July 28, 1971 in Abington, Pennsylvania, but grew up in Saginaw, Michigan and attended Western Michigan University, where he learned to play guitar. He is a Tony nominee for his role as Robbie Hart in the Broadway musical, The Wedding Singer. Stephen married Erin Dwight in September of 2003.

Lynch has produced eight albums:
Live At XM Studios (Live concert available only on the XM Comedy channel, no CD release planned)
The Craig Machine
Live at the El Rey (DVD)
Superhero
A Little Bit Special
Half A Man (Lynch's original demo tape; currently out of print)
3 Balloons
Lion

And one Broadway cast album:
The Wedding Singer, Original Broadway Cast Recording

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Stephen Lynch