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As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain<br /> I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain<br /> But that's just perfect for an Amish like me<br /> You know I shun fancy things like electricity<br /> At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows<br /> Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows fool<br /> And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that<br /> Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone<br /> I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline<br /> Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin<br /> But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine<br /> Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699<br /> We been spending most our lives<br /> Living in an Amish paradise<br /> I've churned butter once or twice<br /> Living in an Amish paradise<br /> It's hard work and sacrifice<br /> Living in an Amish paradise<br /> We sell quilts at a discount price<br /> Living in an Amish paradiseA local boy kicked me in the butt last week<br /> I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek<br /> I really don't care, in fact I wish him well<br /> 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell<br /> But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it<br /> An Amish with a 'tude?<br /> You know that's unheard of<br /> I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat<br /> And my homies agree<br /> I really look good in black fool<br /> If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears<br /> We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years<br /> But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare<br /> We're just technologically impairedThere's no phone, no lights, no motorcar<br /> Not a single luxury<br /> Like Robinson Caruso<br /> It's as primitive as can beWe been spending most our lives<br /> Living in an Amish Paradise<br /> We're just plain and simple guys<br /> Living in an Amish Paradise<br /> There's no time for sin and vice<br /> Living in an Amish Paradise<br /> We don't fight, we all play nice<br /> Living in an Amish ParadiseHitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter<br /> Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise anutter<br /> Think you're really righteous?<br /> Think you're pure in heart?<br /> Well, I know I'm a million time as humble as thou art<br /> I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes want to be like<br /> On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife<br /> So don't be vain and don't be whiny<br /> Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinieWe been spending most our lives<br /> Living in an Amish Paradise<br /> We're all crazy Mennonites<br /> Living in an Amish Paradise<br /> There's no cops or traffic lights<br /> Living in an Amish Paradise<br /> But you'd probably think it bites<br /> Living in an Amish ParadiseAhh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh<br /> Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!Lyrics provided by TANCODEhttps://damnlyrics.com/" readonly=""/>