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Look<br /> If you had<br /> One shot<br /> To sit on your lazy butt<br /> And watch all the TV you ever wanted<br /> Until your brain turned to mush<br /> Would you go for it?<br /> Or just let it slip?<br /> YoRemote is ready<br /> Eyes wide, palms are sweaty<br /> There's Flintstones on the TV already<br /> Wilma 'n' Betty<br /> No virgin to channel surfin'<br /> And I'm HD-ready<br /> So I flip<br /> Garbage is all I'm gettingThere's Simon Cowell<br /> Who folks wanna disembowel<br /> He opens his mouth<br /> Always says something foul<br /> They're dyin', wow<br /> Wannabes are crying now<br /> He votes them out<br /> Time to throw in the towelShows based on reality<br /> Oh, the humanity!<br /> Oh, Ozzy's family<br /> Sho' loves profanity<br /> Whoa, the insanity<br /> Oh, dogs that crap and pee<br /> Home of depravity?<br /> No, they live happily<br /> YoPlus "Da Ali G Show"<br /> And "Celebrity Mole"<br /> Oh, and there's Anna Nicole<br /> Well, she's scaring me"Look ma, no cavities"<br /> Oh, it's a station break<br /> Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, they'd scold me<br /> But I'd still tune in every show (show)<br /> My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO<br /> The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime (yo)"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"<br /> They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos" (no)<br /> I'm gonna watch C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO<br /> The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo)<br /> (You're gonna)My butt is aching<br /> As I watch NASCAR racing<br /> That show about undertaking<br /> Larry King<br /> To "24" to "Law And Order"<br /> The Weather Channel's boring like "60 Minutes"'s ancient reporters<br /> Next up on "E! True Hollywood Story"<br /> The rise and decline of twelve actors named CoreyShows for next fall, they've already been namin'<br /> "CSI: Boise" and "Touched By An Uncle" both sound pretty lame 'n'<br /> So does "Everybody Tolerates Raymond"<br /> And "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute<br /> I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in itI'll move right on to "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenaged Daughter"<br /> Then I bet<br /> I watch "The Bachelorette"<br /> Followed by "Welcome Back, Kotter"<br /> And "The Muppet Show" where they go 'Mahna Mahna'"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"<br /> They told me, they'd scold me<br /> But I'd still tune in every show (show)<br /> My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO<br /> The Disney Channel and A&E and Lifetime (yo)"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"<br /> They told me, cajoled me<br /> But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow)<br /> I'm looking at C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO<br /> The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime (yo)<br /> (You're Gonna)Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost In Space"<br /> I've seen each "Amazing Race" and "Without A Trace"<br /> But I only watched "Will And Grace" one time one day<br /> Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gayOh, and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour<br /> After that, felt like I needed a long shower<br /> Network execs with naked ambitions<br /> "Next week on FOX, watch lions eat Christians"Like to tie up those programming planners<br /> Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "Scanners"<br /> Leech-covered grub-eatin' fools on "Survivor"<br /> Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob SchneiderAnd there's "Gilligan" and "SpongeBob", plus there's "MacGyver"<br /> And Jay Leno has got Madonna, hey there's Luke Perry on a<br /> Special all Pig-Latin episode of "Drew Carey"Wanna turn on "E.T." 'cause I'm a gossip freak<br /> And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week<br /> A 30 second spot<br /> Then we come back to "Are You Hot?"<br /> I was planning on recording "The Sopranos"<br /> I forgotI love shows with or without a plot<br /> I'll stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot<br /> Because I only have got<br /> One brain to rot<br /> I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"<br /> They told me, they'd scold me<br /> But I'd still tune in every show (show)<br /> My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO<br /> The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime (yo)"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"<br /> They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show" (no)<br /> I got it on C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO<br /> The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime (yo)<br /> (You're gonna)You can watch anything you want to, manLyrics provided by TANCODEhttps://damnlyrics.com/" readonly=""/>