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I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane<br /> With a rabid wolverine in my underwear<br /> When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat<br /> Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes<br /> I guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?<br /> Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?<br /> Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"<br /> I probably would have kept on guessing<br /> But about that time we crashed into the truck<br /> And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt<br /> Finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer<br /> Who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells meEverything you know is wrong<br /> Black is white, up is down and short is long<br /> And everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter<br /> Everything you know is wrong<br /> Just forget the words and sing along<br /> All you need to understand is<br /> Everything you know is wrongI was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams<br /> When I accidentally stepped into a alternate dimension<br /> And soon I was abducted by some aliens from space<br /> Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr<br /> They sucked out my internal organs<br /> And they took some polaroids and said I was a darn good sport<br /> And as a way of saying thank you<br /> They offered to transport me back to any point in history that I would care to go<br /> And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night<br /> So I could pay my phone bill on time<br /> Just then the floating disembodied head of Colonel Sanders started yellingEverything you know is wrong<br /> Black is white, up is down and short is long<br /> And everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter<br /> Everything you know is wrong<br /> Just forget the words and sing along<br /> All you need to understand is<br /> Everything you know is wrongI was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin<br /> When I got a nasty paper cut<br /> And, well, to make a long story short<br /> It got infected and I died<br /> So now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter by the pearly gates<br /> And it's obvious he doesn't like the Nehru jacket that I'm wearing<br /> He tells me that they've got a dress code<br /> Well, he lets me into heaven anyway<br /> But I get the room next to the noisy ice machine for all eternity<br /> And every day he runs by screamingEverything you know is wrong<br /> Black is white, up is down and short is long<br /> And everything you used to think was so important doesn't really matter anymore because the simple fact remains that<br /> Everything you know is wrong<br /> Just forget the words and sing along<br /> All you need to understand is<br /> Everything you know is wrongLyrics provided by TANCODEhttps://damnlyrics.com/" readonly=""/>